So it’s likely in the last few months, we’ve all had an opportunity to hang out to do some good old fashioned shadow work, hanging out with the shadowiest version of ourselves. The one that’s anxious, fearful, self-sabatory, wounded, defensive, stubborn, obsessive. It probably comes up, we’re aware that we don’t want to hang out with it but we think think we can handle it….it’s just one drink, just one more drama, just another negative thought. And down the slide we go. Then when we do snap out of it here comes the shadow hangover….guilt, shame, frustration, helplessness. All tools of the dark side.
We’ve likely looked outside of us for the cause: it’s work, it’s the guy, it’s my parents, it’s my kids, it’s the money, it’s the government. We’ve been talking for awhile about the cause….but look no further, because the whole kit & kaboodle, the light and dark, the desperation, the joy, the shitty choices, the powerful choices…are all in us. It’s us not taking ourselves seriously.
A person very dear to me sent me this quote last week: “It is not the mountain that we conquer but ourselves.” That’s right…it’s ALL about us. (something that might make our ego happy & sad to learn). The message is not only about focusing attention & responsibility where it belongs (on us) but also understanding that while we cannot control the external world, we CAN control how we respond to it. Inner control freaks rejoice. The shadow doesn’t come from the outside, it’s gained traction over the light on the inside. Because we keep feeding it.
Something in our lives will have cracked around July 27th, causing us to no longer ignore the damage the shadow is doing to our life. But also allowing the light to seep in. We had 2 weeks to identify what needs to be eliminated, & then, under the solar eclipse, plant a new seed. Tomorrow Mercury goes direct – so we should have our marching orders – the 27th Mars goes direct – a new found drive around our big picture understandings – and Sept 6th Saturn goes direct – let’s build it brick by healthy brick. No more constructions on sand, no more structures that can blow away, no more feeding the demon. We know what needs to change & it’s time to do it.
Where is the answer to all of this? Self-care. Are you too giving? Give to yourself. Do you pick up other people’s energies? Be rigorous about protecting your energy. Do you eat out of nervousness? Get an exercise routine. Do you work yourself to death? Take time out. Do you drown in negative self-talk. STOP.
There are no more excuses for not taking care of ourselves. And I believe we’ll find that if we continue to ignore the need to be our own primary care givers, we’ll find that the shadow gets louder & louder. We’ve seen what it can do, that’s not a beast we want with ultimate power. Put your own oxygen mask on first. The internal wars we’ve been battling want to come to a truce. The shadow will never go away, it’s part of the human experience. But if we have properly armed & trained the light (knowing now after these months how quickly it can be overcome) we can take that internal war down to a harmless exchange of energies. Take your shadows seriously, take your need to care for yourself with light more seriously.
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