Key themes: clearing out emotional clutter, home is where the heart is, self love, rebalancing, come home to yourself, discovery of self, deepening relationship value, the gift of authenticity, give from the heart, what lies deep in the heart, the essence of give and take, pure connections
Have any of you read the Gift of the Magi? It’s a very poignant story by O’Henry. It tells of Jim and Della, a poor young married couple who both desperately want to materially demonstrate their love for the other through their Christmas gifts. Each one ends up selling the most valuable possession they have in order to afford the present for the other. The beauty of the message comes when we discover that Della has sold her beautiful hair to purchase a solid gold chain for Jim’s watch and Jim sold his watch to buy pearl combs for Della’s hair. Armed with two useless objects, the real gift emerges.
This week speaks very strongly to our interpersonal relationships. Often in life we measure what we offer and what we receive through the material, demonstrable and quantifiable. We sometimes wonder, what do I have to give? What can they give me? We take stock. We place value on what we can see. What did she buy me for my birthday? How many times have I called him? Who paid for dinner last time? It’s her turn to come to me. Keeping a very active set of scales of going. And while balance in any relationship is absolutely fundamental to avoid finding oneself in a psychologically suppressive situation, sometimes what we need to be putting on the scales is the intangible. Sometimes one simple sentence can be of such a greater value, to the giver and the receiver, than the finest of jewels.
The truth is that the greatest gift we have to offer, to ourselves and to others, is our pure, unabashed, heart based authenticity. And the greatest gift we can receive is someone else’s offering of themselves in their pure, unabashed, heart based authenticity. To be able to say “I give you me in my true essence” and hear “I receive and accept you” cannot be quantifiably measured.
We adorn ourselves in visible goods and we weigh ourselves down in material security as a demonstration of our personal richness and value. Our clothes, our car, our bags, our restaurants all clues as to what we’re worth. Intended to attract someone who identifies as such.
We rarely use our truth and our authenticity to attract, leaving those things for a little bit later when we feel the outside package has done its job. But the doubt frequently remains. Does he love me for me? What would happen if the actual “richer or poorer, sickness and in health” happened? We can only know the answers to those questions when one heart is truly in reception with another, at its essence.
So this week I’d like to take a look, not at what you bring to the table, but who you bring to the table. To clear past the emotional clutter and material baggage we’ve accumulated throughout the years to get back to that shining ember that lies at the core of our hearts. To leave behind all of the games we’ve been taught to play, and the strategies we’ve trained in to acquire the relationship we desire, and to be true, first and foremost, to ourselves. What if we loved ourselves enough to show up as ourselves? Priceless.
Feel stuck in life? Check out my bespoke personal development program.
Greatness awaits!
