Weekly Thermals: Life goals & spring cleaning.
As humans we can be very goal driven, some of us more than others. At times we can get into our heads that we just need that *one* thing to be happy. The one thing may be a relationship, it may be approval from a certain person, it may be status, it may be external emotional security, it may be more money. But we live our life where the goal is always just one step ahead of us. The perennial carrot in front of the horse.
This pursuit can put us into places where we end up conditioning our behavior – maybe by acting like the person we think they will want, doing a job where we bring our C game because it’s what others expect of us, continually self sabotaging so that we’re never potentially disappointed were we to actually achieve that *one* thing.
If you think about the image of the carrot in front of the horse, the game is pretty clear. The horse never wins. He keeps moving forward but the goal keeps moving one step ahead of him. I just need…forever a step away. As we move into the heart of spring time (north hemisphere focus here), let’s remember that this is an amazing time of rebirth. The birds are back, the sun is back, the flowers are blooming again. There is so much new life to enjoy and participate in.
One of the great traditions of spring is the spring cleaning. Where we go into the corners of the house that have been dormant for the winter, we brush out the dust, take stock of what we need and don’t need. We inadvertently come to terms with the changes that have happened over the past season and how they affect our current state of life.
I would like to invite you to do a couple of things this week. The first is an emotional spring cleaning. Take a second to really take stock of the things that have moved and shifted in your own life for the past six months. What have you let go of, what have you learned, what makes you happy, what’s really weighing you down. We move so quickly and frequently so unconsciously, that we never take a moment to give ourselves our own recognition. Recognition for the steps we took closer to our goals, recognition for the things that we let fall away because they were no longer beneficial, thoughts we’ve planted that can some day bloom into beautiful gardens.
In order to do this we must also take our blinders off as we look forward. This means not only praising ourselves for our evolution, but removing the self-deception about where we’re keeping ourselves stuck. You don’t have to fix it today. But it can’t be fixed until you see it. Where are the conditionings of your “I just need…” getting you into lose/lose situations. Where are you lying to others, and yourself, about how you’re showing up? Where are you chasing an impossible happy? And where are you ignoring the happy you already have because you’re focused on the goal?
And then once we’ve done this, I would like you to take one day, one week, or even one hour, where all you do is focus on the happiness. Treat yourself to things that make you happy, focus on the people, the places, the colors, the activities, the tastes, the smells that remind you that life really doesn’t suck. That it’s a rich experience that comes in all shapes and sizes. And if we allow ourselves every now and then to stop and smell the roses, we may just find that actually everything is coming up roses.
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